This was in my work email today:
T’was the day before the night before the day before, the night before Christmas
When all through the Big Pink many TSE was stirring, even some Rogues
The tickets were stacked in the queue, like used copies of Vogue
The teams were focused on tickets to solve,
While visions of the lobby doors did revolve;
Around and around in their minds
Swirled fixes and patches of many a kind.
When over in Milliways arose such a clatter
Every TSM sprang to see what was the matter
Away to Zendesk they flew like a flash
“All TSE queue” and cleared their cache,
To see the results of last week’s bash.
The sunlight on the shimmering waters of the Willamette
Gave the luster of summer to the 29th, and 28th too, I bet
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But an Infinity team and 8 tiny reindeer
(And by “reindeer” we mean the 8 arms of Cephalopod
Which I realize is a picture quite odd).
With many a ticket drivers, so slippery and quick,
I knew in a moment Enablement is slick
More rapid than Eagles, these tickets they came
And so the BSE’s whistled and did tame,
Sending tickets to the queues with excellent aim.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
The KAM team did also take to the sky
And up to the queue top they flew
Intuit, XOC, Bear Hug and some P1’s too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard in the queue
The echoes of tweets by Sweet Lew
As the day wore on and tickets wore down,
The fog cleared and there below was the town.
The tickets they are so many! How they appear!
Oh Java, oh Mobile these tickets I fear!
Team Mojave quickly joined in the game,
And I called to them, called them by name:
Now Toby, Now Jeanie,
Now Dara and Jesse
On Kaushik, on Jesse (rhymes with ‘Jesse’)
On Andy and PK Thunder,
On Luke and Adrienne,
On Donner and Blitzen.
Wait. Got carried away,
The last two are not working today.
The TSEs spoke not a word, but went straight to their work
They filed Jiras and Feature requests, then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger on the elevator call,
Gave it a push, down to the lobby they did – ride. (what did you think I was going to say?)
The queue under control, tickets but a few
Away they did fly, upon wings of Mt. Dew
Code Red, anyway
I heard them exclaim, as they bolted away,
Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good day!
(By Brent Hara, Manager, Mojave team, New Relic Technical Support)